Woman-hood

This is such a strange word. It one of those words like menstruation and breasts that are so uncomfortably and clinically feminine. Words that scream you are a WOMAN! I haven’t always been a fan of describing myself as a woman. I mean when I visualise myself in the future, what I see is a woman but in the present...nope. I know I ‘m still young, but this may be a feeling that I carry along with me as I grow older. I prefer the daintier version ‘lady’... or anything like that. Woman is almost a call to fill the shoes of all the ‘women’ before you...women like my mother, my principal in secondary school, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, the first female African president and all the motherly, womanly, strong women out there. It’s a call to play your role in the fabric of society. The point of this whole preamble is about the essence of womanhood. What is the essence of womanhood that is so indefinable and almost intimidating? Are we simply the child bearers and home makers, meaningless without being placed in a family as wife and mother? Today’s modern feminists reject this idea. We are more than that they say, we are also breadwinners and presidents and CEO’s and activists ...we are powerful and equal to men.



Are we meant to be powerful and equal to men? Aren’t we the supposed “weaker sex”? Don’t shoot me yet, I consider myself to be a feminist. Not a bra-burning feminist but the type who wants to see men and women given the same opportunities and the same rewards without discriminating on the basis of gender, the type who is against the exploitation of womens’ strengths and weaknesses to promote stupid agendas. As I have grown older my view on the roles of women have taken a beating. At first I thought we were strong and oh- so-powerful, and then I thought we were hopelessly weak...and now? I’m realising that we are strong in our seemingly weak states. Are you confused yet? Lol.

I am reading this book called Woman: An asset to the nation by Nike Adeyemi, Sam Adeyemi’s wife. Some of the things she says leave me rather err...x_x but the more I read this book, the more I see the shape of a woman utterly different from the one I had envisioned all my life. A different brand of feminism than the one the world tries to sell today.

She is strong yet gentle, wise yet humble, productive but not wasteful, beautiful but not vain...she is a complex walking paradox. She is very much a Proverbs 31 woman...a woman I have always been very suspicious about (Like really?! Is she superwoman? And ...you want me to be like that?...err no thanks! she’s rather too ‘womanly for me) BUT, the more I read about her, the more I realise that I need to be like her to be anything like the woman I imagine to be in future. When God created the world, he gave Eve to Adam, and to the world, so that everything would be good. We are the finishing touch. Without a woman playing a role in the way that she ought to the world would not be good. And the state of today’s world speaks for itself. I got taught something like this in class yesterday...some guy (of course it would be a guy*rolls eyes*) thinks so too.

I have ALWAYS supported the “what a man can do, a woman can do better” movement. BUT the more I learn, I realise it really should be “What a man can do, a woman can do differently”. I am still learning this but men aren’t our competition, they are our partners. Hard to imagine partnering with some big headed chauvinist lazy pig though! I feel women/girls/ladies need to be educated on what being a woman entails. There are very few role models nowadays. Us girls need to stop being lazy and “unwise”. And I think guys need lessons too! Most of them have warped ideals of women...they want Naomi Campbell in the kitchen (^ _-) lol. God bless all the guys out there that recognise the true value of women!

Another question for another day, is can we have it all? Be super career women and super mummies and wives? Do we need to be all of these things to justify our womanhood?

Little stars!

Remember him from My Wife and Kids?

Why are there so many amazing kids nowadays?? Like seriously? What are they feeding off? They’re all like super confident and intelligent. When I was younger I was a just a shy cute mummy’s girl..x_X. Anyhoos, so here’s a little rundown of some super cool kids.


1. I came across this video of Birke Baeher on TED.com He is an 11 year old aspiring organic farmer(now that's what you all ambition) and he gave a great talk on Ted.com about the dangers of our current food system. Super smart and conscious kid!



2. Next up ...Miss whip your hair herself...10 year old,Willow Smith. I love this child! She’s super cool and has the self assurance of a 25 year old. Some people worry that stardom will take a toll on her and she would end up being a ‘Britney’ But I DIASGREE. She just seems very solid. Her brother is just 13 too and he acts and raps as well...Will and Jada are lucky parents!..or maybe pushy parents...who knows

Cool Kids!


3.Another youtube find...this 7 year old rapper "p-nut" is the cutest rapper alive! He's got swag, drives a cadillac, raps about his 3rd grade rush...whats not to love!! lol

Lastly, this is the cutesssssttt child singing Justin Bieber's 'Baby'


What were you doing when you were 10??

Truly Nigerian

The other day, I saw a video of this American girl speaking Yoruba on facebook. It was just a tour of her walk to school and she spoke a mixture of English and simple Yoruba like “ekaro o” (Good morning) and was able to hold a simple convo with a group of hostel boys about what she had for breakfast. I was amused so I went to her you tube page, watched a couple of other videos and found a link to her blog http://www.northoflagos.com/.

I was more than amused, impressed, blown away! Like, here is a typical American girl, who was learning Yoruba at the University of Wisconsin and went the extra mile to take a year out to the University of Ibadan to consolidate her learning. First question I asked was how in the hell did she get the idea to study Yoruba? A language that is dying out even within its own tribe, a language that a huge chunk of its young generation scorns, preferring to speak variations of “American” and “British” English. *note emphasis on VARIATIONS of American and British English...lol
This girl left her comfortable American uni to live with host parents in Ibadan because she saw a beauty in the language and culture of a people and appreciated the uniqueness and richness of the culture.

So, if someone all the way from America can go all the way to learn our language and appreciate our culture...why can’t we???! It’s really so sad to see young people who are so willing to shrug off their Nigerian heritage, language and culture to be more westernised. Yes, I blame globalization but then I blame us more. I grew up speaking English at home and listening to Yoruba being spoken by my family. I loved the language but in a way I felt almost cut off from it because I didn’t speak it. Fast forward to school days, and then I realised most people didn’t want to be associated with the language anyway. They noted it’s presence around us but then we were not really immersed in it, our Englishness made us aloof to it. And so it became cool NOT to speak Yoruba. If you spoke it too much you were razz and local. That was the beginning of the death of our culture.

Now, I worry that if I can’t even speak Yoruba fluently and frequently, my children would grow up speaking and listening to English and then they would lose any awareness of being Yoruba at all! I really cannot bear to imagine this and as a result, I have been driven to speak Yoruba more often and just appreciate our culture more. I think this is more a problem with the young Yoruba’s than say the young Ibo’s or Hausa’s who are distinctly more Ibo and Hausa in their identity. Young Yoruba’s have embraced westernisation in exchange for their language. *can you say slave trade all over again*

I am not saying ALL young people are like this but compared with the older generations the proportion of non-native speaking Nigerians is MUCH more. I am not saying we shouldn’t be westernised. God knows we are too educated and exposed not to be but what I’m saying is that there should be a more symbiotic relationship between both. Speak English and Yoruba. Eat burgers and pounded yam (I am sure this is much easier for all of us). Wear your Brazilian hair and still be able to tie a gele, and on and on. Being African/Nigerian/Ibo isn’t synonymous with being fresh or bush or razz. You can speak excellent English and still be able to speak your native language. This is not about making it ok to speak bad English, or dress shabbily or anything like that. If you can speak your native language and cannot speak English without gbagauning in this day and age, you oughtta be ashamed!

But PLEASE can we just appreciate what we see around us more and not be afraid to be truly Nigerian, while remaining citizens of the world. Keep our culture alive!

n check her out!

A few of my favourite things--Style Crush

Rather late but happy new month guys! We are Marching forward...lol.*forgive*

So on the sidebar, there's a list of my current favourite things. I say current, because I cannot guarantee the length of my love relationships with these things. I can be very fickle sometimes but while the love affair lasts, I shall try to show you why I love them so!

I’m going to start from the bottom of the list...not for any particular reason but it’s the most recent relevant occurrence on my mind.

Zara Okpara: So the other day my cousin/aunty (she’s everything all rolled in one...Lol) and I found out we had the same style crush after she saw my little list in the sidebar. Normally I don’t really like sharing my favourite things (selfish, I know) but some things are too good not to share. After seeing her face among a sea of others in various magazines and blogs, her face quickly became familiar because she was always looking on point. In today’s scene where everyone is trying to be over sexy and trendy and cool...everything at the same time! She comes as a blast of fresh air with her subtle sexiness and understated chic.

Here, she looks feminine, sexy and kinda edgy with the low back of the dress and the shoes. The JBL dress is a number and she keeps it simple with no accessories, killer shoes and flowing locks. I woulda ditched the purse though but she still looks great.

Again she keeps it fresh. Bright red lippy, loose shirt and keeps the focus on the print pleated skirt while the red bag adds a bit of pop. She complements her figure with the loose fitting pieces and gives off this I-don’t-try-too-hard-but-still-nail-it look.

And my favourite:

I LOOOVEEEE this neon green Bridget Awosika skirt! Like when I saw it I wanted to die...not literally but gosh excitement! (neon green is one of my favs right now too,partly cuz of Bridget Awosika’s look book) I don’t really know where to start from here. I love the colour palette of black, neon and purple and the chunky necklace; everything just works together so well! 10/10 This look is currently one of the nominees for the best dressed for Jan/Feb on Bella Naija. I have obviously voted for this look but unfortunately the ultra fabulous and famous Genevieve appears to be trumping the cards. Oh well, there are plenty more months in the year.

So, from all my gushing, I guess you could say I love Zara's style in general , these are just a few pics I found loitering the internet. But in almost everything I've seen her in she looks good and not only that she wears the type of things I want to wear. Most people have people they look up to for style inspiration although they’re usually distant American stars, however in a bid to support our own, I’ve found one closer to home. Good thing it’s kinda part of her job to stay stylish as she works as a PR manager for the fashion house, Jewel by Lisa, So there’s no fear of a downward trend anytime soon. Keep ‘em coming girl!

Do you have any (African or otherwise) style crushes? Do share!

and OH!

Please feel free to leave comments if you read my posts! I promise Idon't bite :)

Who's up there?

So, we go on and on about how we need to walk the walk and talk the talk. Truth of the matter is that we would all really like to see other people who are walking the walk and talking the talk to reinforce our drive to do the same. We are after all social beings, what we do mostly comes from what we see around us. We wear what the designers are putting on the runways, what the hottest celebrities are wearing. We learn the new move in the latest hit video. (The dougie, jerk. we will all be doing the 10/10 dance in Naeto c's video soon. thank God that one is easy. lol) Yes, we are inherently all copycats. (Even if you refuse to admit it :p)

God knows this and thats why He said we should stick our heads in a church and "not forsake the brethren" because we need to see people professing the same faith we have and walking in our chosen paths to keep our faith alive. That's not to say I support the herd mentality or that we should totally put our future into other peoples hands! The Good Book still tells us to "work out OUR OWN salvation"

But basically, my point is whatever it is we want to do; sing, run a successful business, get a first class on your degree, live passionately for God,(I just listed all the things I wanna do..feel free to insert your own list..lol) it always helps seeing people that are doing the same thing successfully. It assures us that it is something that can be done especially if the current successors are in our immediate vicinity, then the smell of success/achievement becomes even closer and sweeter! It is very discouraging to say the least not having anyone to look up to and this has killed many dreams.

I have been actively trying to find people that I can look up to. People who are already on the path I would one day like to be. That is, generally people of excellence...there are too many mediocre people out there today and what's worse is that we are all comfortable stagnating in this mediocrity! That's where excellent people come in...they make us UNCOMFORTABLE!

Here are a few excellent people that I have come across this week that have inspired me.

Tosin Otiloju who was featured on Bella Naija this week.

She was a head girl at Queens College Lagos, had the best SSCE results in the country in 1996. Got a first class in Electrical Engineering at Howard University. Got a scholarship to the California Institute of Technology for postgraduate studies. Was awarded the young person award of the year for 2006. She teaches at the University of Lagos (Also taught at the University of Yola). Published a collection of poems and has acted in five full theatre productions! Sounds like superwoman. Do you feel uncomfortable now?! lol.

Next up, I stumbled upon one of Lola Adesioye's articles today and found my way to her website.

She looks very pretty right? I assure you, she is more than just a pretty face. She graduated for the University of Cambridge with a degree in Social and political science. She is an inspirational speaker, socio-political commentator and writer and contributor to established publications such as The Guardian, The Economist and The Huffington Post and Arise Magazine. She has made guest speaker appearances on CNN, BBC, Channel4, BET and AOL Voices. She also performs as a singer/songwriter and she runs a multi-media company called something2say. She has a beautiful inspirational blog and oh! She is a self professed born again christian! Erm...did I here 360 degree woman??..... yup I think I did!

This is just two of many! We all need to have people we know fighting the good fight. I am personally on the lookout to find a mentor (I don't really know how to get myself one of those *_* ) Who are some people you look up to? and If the answer to that question is non-existent, do find yourself someone/people. They do exist, you just have to look hard! And if all else fails...well you have Jesus! We are told to look up to him as the author and finisher of our faith!

Stay steady dreaming!

Block colours dilemna

Am I crazy for thinking that purple and orange go together?? lol. I didnt end up finding the balls to wear this combo but I absolutely love it! I'm not sure if I always had these feelings towards bright colours or if seeing Jill sanders spring collection switched on a bright colour light bulb in my head.



Thoughts?