Freedom

I wrote this a while ago, and even the events that have occured in the time between then and now has just proven how true this is.

So I just realised how fickle relationships are, how temporary the modern definition of love is. This comes after hearing about the one million and one-th break-up. Marriage, relationships and friendships...none escape d wrath of fickle love. Has love always been this way or is it the evolution of our minds and our never ending search for freedom? To be free from love? Rules? God? Normalcy?

Such freedom has slowly given rise to anarchy. Where one man's I do really means 'I do-as far as I still have my freedom'. I am somehow also connected to this search for freedom, not to be bound by any restricting rules but at the same time I crave the stabilty and order?

In all of this, I am sure of only one thing....God's love is the only constant thing. Yet some still run from it. For me it is the one thing I can hold on to for stability in this ever-changing temporary world. The Bible says heaven and earth will pass away but His words will remain and He has said that he loves me....what more stability can a girl ask for while being given permission to be unabashedly me? :)

The Gift

I saw this once on someones facebook note and after reading, I literally brought out my pen and paper and wrote it all down..for me. But now I'm gonna write it out again for you:

Every woman has an insatiable need for relationship, one that can never be filled. It is an ache in her soul designed to drive her to God. She aches for intimacy, to be known, loved and chosen. It also explains her deepest fear- abandonment/rejection.

You have to have someplace to turn... For comfort, understanding. For the healing of brokeness. For love. To offer life, you must have life. And you can only get this from God.

We live in a great love story, set in the midst of war. The great and terrible clash between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness continues. They are fighting for the human heart.

Jesus is the hero of this love story and we are his beloved. So the greatest gift you can give yourself is to develop a real relationship with Jesus Christ, where you are finding in God the life and love your soul desperately needs.

Pray for your enemies...:s

The bible says pray for your enemies. Deep. It’s bad enough getting people to pray for their friends everyone is focused on the almighty ME. So when you eventually do, you feel “Right I’ve done a good thing” So, how much of a saint do you have to be to pray for our enemies.
A lot of churches have made a business out of praying against their enemies. Most of those prayers are like throwing grenade bombs at your enemies. I’ve participated in some of these church prayers thanks to mother and have always felt a tad bit uncomfortable chanting ‘die’ at the so-called witches, wizards and even cats :o

Some say in Africa it is very needed because of our background and how supposedly evil we are with all the bad beleh people wishing you evil. But a friend of mine from Kenya claims they have no such thing as witches in her country?? So maybe it’s not an African thing just a Nigerian thing....?

I know they say, the prayers are not targeted at actual people and they quote that “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood” but after praying these prayers, most are expecting to hear news of the death of one old aunty in the village or something.

I don’t have any strong views except that I feel uncomfortable praying for my enemies to die and would try to lean towards the praying for them ideal...even though it sounds absurd..
But as a Nigerian am I being stupidly naive? Is praying for your enemies reserved for the hillsong type western Christian who probably don’t even have enemies??

Jump!

So, I’ve been talking alot about vision and what not. It really cannot be overemphasized cuz it’s where it all begins and without seeing what you want first...well you simply can’t get it. Nyhoos, ok, you’ve seen it and whoop! You’re excited cuz all the ideas are pouring in and you literally feel shivers down your spine at the excitement of the sheer possibilities. Now, you actually have to get doing...ACTION...else you end up feeling a little like this...

“The worst thing is making the same mistakes over and over. What happens when you know where you want to go, like you can see it right there but you just-no matter how hard you seem to try you can’t seem to reach it. It's the kind of thing that makes you just want to bang your head over and over again on a brick wall and scream in frustration(I would not advise this) And in does seem like there’s a wall standing between you and your goals/dreams (explains the head-bashing feeling)”

Written in one of my moments of sheer frustration. See, if everyone in the world was classified by what they do most...so, Think-ers, Do-ers, Write-ers and Speak-ers. I would most definitely fall under thinkers. While each category has its apparent advantages, there are also limitations. I really wish I was more of a do-er. Some once told me vision without provision is frustration (forgive the tacky rhymes...maybe my sources r dodgy, but it gets the point across) ok, a bit off-point since we’re not talking about provision. But I can rephrase and say vision without action is frustration. Common sense, you might think...in fact everything I’ve written here could be regarded as simple plain common sense but maybe common sense isn’t so common anymore because I’ve always seemed to fall short at this same point. So, if you like this could be considered a pep-talk for me and any other person that this may apply to. But still we can, talk, think and write from now till thy kingdom come and if nothing is done then nothing changes. While talk and its partners are cheap like they say, actions are a tad bit more expensive. Mostly because it is held down by fear and I don’t think its fear that we are not capable but fear that others will think we are not doing absolutely rubbish.

But once again fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real (forgive once more). It’s really all in the mind and if we can get over it we can just GET UP & GO! Or you know what even you are still scared shitless still get up and go despite the Fear...I think that’s the only way. Quit the over thinking, and just jump. Metaphorically please don’t go and jump of the top of a sky scraper..Start with a one- storey as far as you’re moving you’ll eventually get there.

And heres a video for u to JUMP around to.Enjoy. x

Lets get uncomfortable..!

I spend a lot of my time reading people's blogs. Some fall under the bleh category but most are attention grabbing, either because of their inspiring/funny content, the beautifully and articulately written pieces, or just the obvious sheer fabulousity of their life. While this is a good way of passing time, it does a number of things to me

1. When you reading an inspiring blog of young, as in like my age mate kinda people, doing fantastic things like running a clothes line, or writing books..I just think "What the hell am I doing with my life?"

2. Reading stupidly articulate and well written blogs leaves numb...Like some of them are even too intelligent for my feeble mind(ok, not feeble but..) and I just wonder about my so called level of intelligence and writing ability.

3. The one who gladly document their fabulous lives, globe-trotting, have the coolest friends, job titles like 'Personal shopper' or 'Fashion designer living in Lagos'...You can understand why the green-eyed monster starts to rear it's head

So all in all, in a weird way reading blogs has a rather demoralizing effect on me. But dare I say its still in a positive way. If you never become aware of how much more you could be or be doing you just remain content in your small little box. However comfortable it is, that small box is dangerous. Knowing about these alternative lives just makes me very uncomfortable with where I am because I could be doing SO much more. I'm a strong believer in the fact that we create our own destinies. Yes God allows it and creates the opportunities but it is down to us, to take advantage of the opportunities when they come.

Some could argue that we ought to be content with whatever we have but I stubbornly disagree. Life is not offered to us on a platter of gold, we have to take what we want from it(see parable of talents in the Bible). So, if we were given, then sure we should be content and just be grateful but since its the other way (that's not to say that some things aren't given)...its up to us to choose how much we want.

East enders just came on and I'm losing the plot but I shall proceed. Lol. It's safe to assume that there are other people who have boring lives like me, who always seem to need encouragement and doubt their abilities...For life the life you've lived and whatever abilities you have, the people around you...Be grateful. But if you can see how far into the horizons, you'll know that there's more and you can't help but to want to cover the remaining distance. So, here's to uncontentment!!!(Is that a word?:s)

Caught it!

So, I think I finally caught the vision for this blog!! So excited! Whoop! I'm so grateful to God, and I'm just going to take this slowly and see how this goes with very detailed planning and caution. I am dreaming BIG..That’s what you need to know for now. A bit scary to even think that BIG but that's what I've been talking about innit.."As far as you can see". I might have to open a totally new blog for it but we'll see. I just need to tread softly in the mean time. God help me.

On to other things, I’ve not been up to much lately apart from job hunting, so I've tuned to TV shows as my source of entertainment. One of my favourites is The city. I like to think of it as the grown up, sophisticated sister of The hills lol. It doesn't have that much drama and it’s all about the fashion and the fashion industry and it just made me wish I could live that life. sigh. The new season just started a while ago, I’m just going to chat a bit about my fav. character.

Whitney


Isn’t she so pretty? All fresh and girly.
I ♥ this babe. Love how she does her hair and the way she dresses. She’s also really nice, polite etc. but I think she’s also a bit of a pushover sometimes especially with her sharp mouthed and sometimes overbearing friend, Roxy, and boss, Kelly who’s really her mentor/big sis type thing. We all have our faults and I think I can slightly identify with this one. Despite this she always does what she thinks is the right thing and that’s admirable, I just wish she’d tell Roxy to shut up sometimes. But yeah, she won’t because she’s nice and they’re best friends. .bleh. Ooh but she did tell Olivia off once, she totally deserved it though. Erin is doing a lot working with Olivia, I would have done a Lucas on her a long time ago( note Lucas reference to Eastenders, another show on my radar.lol). Olivia is the snobby socialite, who’s fab too but to me it’s dampened by her attitude. And there’s Louis Roe, who’s British and totally cool who’s attempting to overtake Olivia’s job. Oh! The drama of it all. Lol. To some people, the show and Whitney may be a bit boring cause of the lack of excessive drama, but I like sanity especially as it’s supposed to be reality, or maybe I am just grown-up and sophisticated like the show...or boring. *Kanye shrug*


You can follow her on twitter @whitneyEVEport or buy some of her lovely clothes at whitneyeve.com or better still just watch the show and make your own opinion. :) (Please, MTV needs to pay me for this promo)

Life through rose tinted squeeky clear glasses and still seeing things rosy

So in fact, the sea is anything but sweet and sugary, it's actually salty like tears...like million billion salty teardrops. Not that I didn't know this tiny little fact...I did but I thought "wouldn't it be nicer if it was sweet?" People do this all the time..we know the cold hard facts, but we choose to gloss them over and focus instead on what we would like to be.

Now while this may be considered a rather "head in the clouds" thing to do, it's still optimistic. Excess optimism may lead to dissapointment and too little would just make our lives a depressing misery. So a healthy dose is needed( I don't know who does the measuring but ah well) This somehow still boils down to vision. Optimists SEE what they want to happen and obviously seeing it is the first step in making it happen. And then activists MAKE what they want happen.

But first things first,the seeing part. To some people choosing to believe that there is some sweetness in the salty sea is stupid. But I think optimism is pretty much hope..and faith. Hope and faith require strength. It took strength for Abraham to have faith and trust God when He promised him a son. It took strength for him to continue hoping for this..and the effect of a short time of weakness is evidenced in the birth of Ishmael. I'mnot trying to encourage delusions here but what I'm saying basically is that it takes strength to see things in life clearly for what they are, the bitter, the rough, the sad, the enraging, the humiliating and at the same time still be able to focus on the good and positive side of things. To have been beaten rough black and blue and still have hope that tommorow will be better.

It may be delusional but I think when the reflection of the sun hits the sea, they do look like shiny crystals gleaming happily. And to me there is something sweet about that...

Never stop dreaming,never stop believing and never stop hoping.These are the things that make life worth living. ( sounds like its straight outta high school musical or somethng. #cheesybuttrue(I hate when people twitterize things unneccesarily but this time I'm guilty! sarry!)

Genesis 13- Vision II

So this is not a composed post..jus wanna spill before it flies away from my head. So, I redesigned my blog for like the third time and I edited the header to add "As far as you eyes can see". I wasn't even thinking to be honest, I just wrote it cuz I felt it described the way I saw the title Suagary sea. Apart from the fact that it rhymes with the blog title :), it kept ringing in my head and I thought it sounded familiar in a biblical context.

So googled it up and it was Genesis 13v 14 (NLT) "After Lot had gone, the LORD said to Abram, "Look as far as you can see in every direction--north and south, east and west. I am giving all this land, as far as you can see, to you and your seed as a permanent possession. 16 And I will give you so many descendants that, like the dust of the earth, they cannot be counted! 17 Go and walk through the land in every direction, for I am giving it to you.”

Made soo much sense..I could hear a million little switches clicking in place. First off, in certain areas of my life, I've kinda had to seperate myself from some..shld I say Lots and it was mostly because I needed to do what I felt like God was saying. And soon after, I get this passage and I feel like God's making me a promise. I still don't really understand but the way it just ties in with the blog and my life at the same time's too significant to ignore.

Next thing is in line with the vision like I said a few posts back. He's only going to give you as far as your eyes see. Some people's views are obstructed. I don't want any obstruction, my eyes gast see far even if I have to squint. And I think its basically about how big I can dream..like if you only dare to imagine it, He would do it. Hmm..I'm getting excited. I know this is a very me post. But somehow, I just felt like I could share and challenge whoever's reading not to limit your vision.

There's many layers to this and I feel like I'm only wildly, in a very scattered way, scraping the top. Task for another day..right now, I need to sleep! *eyes shut*

Vision=Value

So I don't really know why I started this blog. My old one was more personal and encapsulated by growth as an individual..all the squirmy beginnings are documented there and I think thats where they belong, in the past, Thank God! So This blog is supposd to document the latter part of my growth stage cuz we never stop growing do we? Well, some people do but thats a whole different story.

Nyhoos, the idea was to be less personal and focus on something solid..that something solid still eludes me. There are however some constants..God being number one, and number two,the people that hopefully read this...you guys need something added to you..entertainment, humour,gist,inspiration..something like that that adds value. But these things that supposedly add value are based on the vision I have for the blog..not? So vision leads to value..and I think this relates to everything,personally, work-wise,relationship wise. If you personally have a vision for your life, then you can add value to the people around you and you yourself can gain value from it...

However, till you have a fully formed vision, its the things you associate with, the things you see, the name you create for yourself ( all these things become whether or not we are actively involved in its formation)..these are things that determine our (value) net-worth....so
just a little food for thought. Eat and be full! hehe.

xo

Loving is the state of mind

Thought I lost u there but alas no! Phew! Nyhoos back to by bloggy boo..hehe. Been a long while but I'm back.

Been asking God for a while to help me make a decision with regards to this summer. I really didn't want to make the decision based on my own wants like I really wanted God to guide me especially because many times before I always did exactly what I wanted without considering God's input. Nyhoos, while I was stressing about not wanting to make the wrong choice I prayed a little earnest prayer and just like a little whiff of something, I caught it! He basically said "I'll be with you wherever you go". Just that n it totally made my day!! Like I cannot begin to even explain...Like when I was finally willing to let Him choose and wait on Him for the answer..and He lets me do whatever I want. I love Him soo much!! Like ah just bliss! ( You can't understand till you experience it trust me) And because of it, its like I have love spewing out of every exit in my body..lol. I hope this high lasts

Nyhoos, pressing issues at hand are EXAMS!!! Eurgh..terrible I tell you, but it's gotta be done. God see me through

Fairytale schmoozytale

Why do we just have to have the most unrealistic ideals about romance growing up and when you're all grown up, you come crashing down hard into the real world? Sex and the city already helped in figuring one of the roots of our freaking ideals and they are the lovely fairytales championed by disney ofcourse (for girls at least). The girl with the wicked stepmother and mean step sisters who is treated like a slave, or the girl locked away in a castle with no escape..whatever the sad story, rest assured prince charming would come to your rescue. Little girls parade up and down in their tiaras and cute litle princess costumes and you think "Aw how cute"...but really what's Cinderella without her prince? I grew up believing that finding a husband and getting married was the be all and end all of my life.

Like it wasn't enough that I'ld already been conditioned to stick it out in whatever sorry situation I found myself and wait for Prince Charming, I had to go and compound the issues by geeting hooked on Mills and Boom novels in sec. school, thanks to my lovely seat mate. And I know I'm not the only one who went through this phase. Now my ideals were higher and not just any prince charming would do. He had to be have a body carved like Ardonis and he had to be stupidly rich or have some royal blood or at least have a relative ready to bequeath him with a handsome inheritance. When we touched, there had to be electric sparks and there definitely had to be chemistry between us and he had to do all he could to get me no matter how hard-to-get I played.....

Now do you see the dilemna that this has created..Stupid Disney and M&B.Kmt! If only I had known the consequence of indulging in such sweet nothings. The only positive thing I am willing to hang on to is happily ever afters. I mean a girl still has to dream right..even though its definition has been constantly redefined over the years, to account for the odd hiccups and drama. The rest have to go and I soo have to cleanse my mind from years of brain washing. I mean there are the one or two people who look like they have fairytale lives..but really, they only LOOK like that.

And its not just girls. Guys have their issues with sex and pornography..which is a whole different set of issues I am unqualified to discuss. However company magazine were gracious enough to give me a few insights into some of the ideals guys have...No, we don't look sexy first thing in the morning. I know you think its bad, but its really worse than you think; puffy eyes, panda eyes, scattered hair/hairnet/half-tied, half removed head scarf, drool on the side of the mouth/ stinky breath...lol. I'm only helping to burst the crazy ideals you have..with any luck she won't be as bad a that and you'll be happy with whatever you get. I guess an alternative to super high ideals are shitty low ones..so whatever the case you'll either be prepared or very relieved..lol

And then again, maybe not. But what then is the way out??

:- |

School is just random as in!! I kinda feel my life is just wasting away..lecture, ibrary, home, eat, facebook, sleep. As in wth kinda robot schedule is that?! Ok, I may be exaggerating a tiny bit but I'm just not in love with the system right now.

Sha, today I decided worry was off limits and therefore automatically fear and sadness too. I cannot kill myself because of tomorrow! So even on the darkest todays I can always manage to crack a smile and I think everyone should try it too. I hate people who are constantly screwfacing..I mean really! Life can't be that bad now, could it? The problem with me is that I wear my emotions on my face..like when I'm thinking...my face goes all thoughtful and I look worried. But on a good day, I could be walking down the road and smiling to myself. The worst is when I'm having a very passionate discussion..lol. I never used to be aware of this and it was my friends that made me notice. So with awareness comes control and I have mastered the poker face look for when I want to hide emotions.

It's funny how you can read some peoples mind through their faces and others manage to keep totally straight faces even though they are planning how to kill you, lather you with barbeque sauce, roast you and eat you. I personally thing too much poker face is scary whereas animated faces are comical but endearing. But i dunno what other people think..is it better to let everyone know what you're thinking or keep everyone guessing..mystery vs openness, especially with the opposite sex and stuff.

Dewey!

New year, new blog, new focus, new better me.
2010's got to be good..im gonna make sure!

So this post is like the dew on this blog, hence Dewey. (Tied in with the whole sea, water thingy..lol..at least i think)

:-)

Life's one thing only: what you make it